Chicken a la Queen

When my girlfriend and I moved into our apartment we bought a bed for me for appearances. There were people we weren't "out" with, people who just wouldn't accept it if we were and people we just didn't care to have the conversation with.

So since there was not enough space for two beds and at least one desk in our one bedroom apartment we bought me a lofted twin bed - a "Gulliver" from Ikea - with a built in desk underneath for my computer.



When we moved into our two bedroom (one floor up) the bed was put in the room which was "my" room. We still slept together in the Queen however.

Now the thing is - if anybody thought about it - there was no way I would have ever slept in the Gulliver because I'm uncomfortable with heights. Also - the ceiling is not much farther up from the bed. (We later had a house guest who slept in the bed, woke up and sat up with a jerk - hitting her head on the ceiling and ending up with a small scab right smack in the middle of her forehead from the popcorn ceiling.)

Originally I had declared that if we ever broke up there was NO WAY she was kicking me out of the Queen - we would just have to put a divider between us or something.

This proved unrealistic when we actually separated. Up until a couple of weeks ago we were still sleeping together... mentally keeping ourselves "separated" and taking trips or housesitting... and then finally just giving in and cuddling. Then we had a "Come to Jesus" meeting and decided that this arrangement wasn't going to work so I had to figure something out.

So I moved my lovely pillow-top twin mattress off of the top of the Gulliver and onto the floor - where I would sleep. The first week I slept half there and half in the Queen.

Now we've weaned some more and I've spent the whole week on the mattress on the floor. This, by the way, is HORRIBLE. I didn't realize how important box springs (or thin boards - per the Gulliver) were! This arrangement is dreadfully uncomfortable. I hate it. I know, also, that the now-ex hates sleeping alone because she's cuddling with whatever large stuffed thing she can find.

And by mid-week we'll be giving our notice to the apartment managers letting them know that we'll be moving. ....

And it keeps feeling like we're playing this one big game of chicken... waiting to see who'll call who on the break-up-move-out-move-on bluff.

Mirrors

I hate to admit it but I do care about looks.

Now I don't have the same standards as others but I do care. For instance - I do not like skinny girls. I can't stand the "need a sandwich" look. I like my girls with some meat... not too much but just the right amount to make the girl A) soft, B) curvy, C)sometimes voluptuous and D) (yes) less attractive to potential rivals.

A weight range from 150-180 give or take a few pounds is PERFECT.

Then I like long hair - short hair turns me way off. And I prefer it brown.... but that's not a solid rule.

I don't like girls TOO feminine but I also don't like them TOO masculine. I'm right in the middle and I like them right in the middle also.... which usually means that I'm attracted, primarily, to bisexuals.

The trick I haven't figured out is what I should look like/dress like/act like to attract these 'in the middle' girls.

But in the mean time... I occasionally get "Gosh you're cute!" e-mails from girls on MySpace and my immediate reaction to some of them is "Who's this fugly sending me a note?" Then I feel bad. Then I feel worse because I only attract fugly.

Blabber

My now-ex girlfriend and I had a fun time tonight. For some reason or another she had a Dave & Buster's card filled with some points that she received because of some job meeting held there. Since we had nothing better to do after dinner at the mall - we decided to slip in and waste the points. After a few rigged games and barely enough tickets to make the cost of the card worthwhile (thankfully we didn't pay for it) - we came out with a hackysack ball.

Then we sat at some empty tables in the now closed mall and talked about splitting friends. We came to the conclusion that they sucked since not a one had called her to ask her how she was doing or offer support or anything after the announcement that our five year relationship was coming to a close. This really does blow and I'm honestly upset about it. At first she thought I was smirking ... I may have been because "our" friends had actually said to me at the first notice a month or so ago that I get them in the divorce. Good for me. Bad for the ex... who is still the best friend I have so that makes things odd. However the now-ex pointed out that I needed some odd/weird friends because odd/weird friends might actually treat me as "one of them" and take care of me... while the friends I do have are more likely to keep me as their odd/weird pet friend. YES... I know... confusing. The point is... I was feeling good about my friends choosing me and she managed to make me feel bad by making me feel like I wasn't really important to my friends.

At the same time I'm pissed that nobody seemed to give a rat's ass and call the now-ex. I mean hello? She's been there for you when you were sick, when you were sad, whenever you needed a hand. Frankly my now-ex is too good for them.

I pointed out that her problem seemed to be that these girls were my friends that I chose to surround myself with - cold, unfeeling people who wouldn't necessarily pry into my affairs because I was cold and unfeeling and shut off from the world - and they became her friends by default. They were never good enough for her.

Well in the end that seemed to cheer her up strangely and we ended up attempting to play hackysack in the mall. It ended when she kicked the foot bag over the wall of the Orange Julius kiosk and we were both too chicken to climb over the little door that separated us from it. Now-ex attempted to flag down a few guys and use her "feminine whiles" but to no avail. Good bye hackysack!

Now-Ex added two things to her list for next girlfriend or boyfriend: 1) Must be sporty (since I am not); 2) Must be brave (since I am not)

Welcome

Welcome to Refried Les Bean! This blog is new but I've been blogging for several months now. But there's always something that I find myself self-editing out of a post on my "normal" blog because I know who's going to read it (or I don't know who's going to read it).

You get the idea? I can't post about an ex because they all know the blog address. I can't post about any "encounters" I might have (cross your fingers) because of which friend might stumble across it. Etc. Etc. I'm sure you get the point.

Well... the goal of this little space is to chronicle the adventures of my new separation from my girlfriend and anything that might come of it.

Welcome stranger - I hope you enjoy!