Times of Your Month

Sometimes things can get confusing based solely on the lesbian's body clock. Especially when its synchronized with someone else's. Sometimes it's great. Sometime's it's drama.

In the years (five) that my now-ex and I have been dating - I don't beleve we've ever synchronized body clocks in the especially great way. (And by this I mean, matching fertile days with fertile days..... read "horny" days.)

Sure - she can work with a female boss for a week and match up with her but she and I have always remained off-kilter.

Well in our normal off-kilter manner she spent the last week going through a PMS depression fest while I remained calm. This was followed by my own depression fest and emotional breakdown over the weekend. After she spent the night out with a mutual friend and didn't return until 5am - I panicked for her safety. She, in turn, decided not to tell me what events transpired at the bar she was at based on "principle." Having only previously been worried about the mutual friend and alcohol consumption I was now taken suddenly aback with the suggestion that promiscuous events had transpired. (Now-ex is a mysterious gal. I was her "first" but then she dated a guy...then a girl...then me again. Whether she'll go for guy or girl when single is really questionable.) (She was at an Irish pub... so I wasn't horribly worried but bars CLOSE AT 2. Where the fuck was she from 2 to 4 when she headed home??)

I went into an emotional tailspin... worried about mutual friends keeping secrets from me... worried about what now-ex had done.... feeling like I'd been cheated on and not rightly so. I declared, with heart breaking, that she was NOT allowed to do this again as long as we still lived together (which is to be about two weeks more). Finally, after an hour or so of emotional vomit (and at some point dragging her into the cry-fest) she finally, unintentionally, revealed that nothing had happened between her and anyone. I don't know if it was a lie or not but it cleared up the thick layers of betrayal-feelings.

Ever since - we've been closer. She threw me a mini-celebration for a job interview I had. We've been cuddling more. This is actually bad news for the breakup. We won't be good as friends if we (I) can't stop touching each other.

And now (and especially now after watching a lesbian-themed movie and reading some suggestive "fanfiction") I'm in my fertile time-period and looking at her like I just should not! It's times like these that I need a "booty call" friend. (And gods help me - do NOT let me make now-ex into my booty call friend because that only leads to drama drama drama.)