Things with "SoYeahUm" (as I will now refer to her) have been progressing. We've now been on several "outings" and I think I must give in to the idea that we are going on dates. We've seen several movies. I've been to her apartment several times. We've had a few short phone conversations. The awkwardness is still there, however, as I still don't feel a physical attraction to her. She continues to assert that we are just friends and will every now and then e-mail me or call me to tell me about some "hot girl" she saw at such and such a place BUT there's this pesky little thing she does now at almost the end of every outing. She e-mails me to say, "It was fun even if we didn't make out."
Which I would be inclined to take as a joke but now twice she has also tried to liquor me up while at her house. She's taken special care to ask what kind of alcohol I like and after learning that wine might make me more into "making out"... well then wine was what she served me after cooking a special meal for me.
She's also begun to suggest that she has some sort of feelings towards me. After a weekend trip she wrote me to tell me that she missed me. Things got a little awkward when I refused to say it back.
Meanwhile, there's a very pretty girl on one of my social networking sites that has taken to treating me like a little pet - giving me nicknames and telling me how cute I am and how she loves me on my comment pages. I love the attention and the girl is hotttt so I'm especially flattered but I don't know how to take it. Shall I respond with serious interest or continue to *think* that she's just enjoying me as a character? And, really, can I take it seriously? First of all - she's just sooo pretty and thus completely out of my league. Secondly, she's married and has two infant children. So obviously (though she's bi and tells me that she misses breasts incredibly) there's no serious interest, yes? But I'm still not sure how to react. So until she blatantly invites me over for a one night stand... I will continue to act like I know she's kidding. And SoYeahUm is showing signs of jealousy and talking about telling the internet girl off for paying me so much attention. How can I be like "Hey, SoYeahUm... back the fuck off! But will you still be my friend?"
And back on the ranch, NowEx and I saw each other a few times and the evenings were really sweet. I went as far as to tell some people that we were "dating" but then things turned a little sour. Yesterday we had a conversation about just not going out with each other anymore. We even decided that our friends should be notified that neither one of us really want to go out if the other will be there. And though it sounded bad... the conversation still ended well.
In a moment of frustration with SoYeahUm and after the "we won't see each other anymore for a while" conversation with NowEx, I decided to schedule a date with another CL girl. I'd sent her a note and then, after seeing her picture, kinda stopped writing her. With SoYeahUm sending me notes about missing me and making out... I got a little freaked and re-started the conversation with the new girl. She decided to ask me out for a Friday night date. I was a little surprised at the quick and suddeness but accepted it.
I didn't tell SoYeahUm or NowEx and I went out for dinner and a movie with the new girl (who I shall now call "HmmHmmWow"). I was kicking myself for the sudden date and vowing to simply not date anymore for the time being but it turned out well and she was much more attractive than her photo. HmmHmmWow was actually a bit shorter than me, a bit older and very giggly. (SoYeahUm was very giggly on our first date too... so I'm now wondering if I have that affect on girls.) Still with no proper knowledge of dating etiquette I followed her back to her apartment (we'd walked to our outings) and she invited me in. We ended up talking for hours at her kitchen table about relationships and whatnot. At about hour 2 of our conversation she asked if she could hold my hand. I found this COMPLETELY odd but she assured me that it was a lesbian thing to do so I accepted it. She was amazed with the fact that I've been pretty much in one solid lesbian relationship or another since 16 years old but had never really been to West Hollywood or its gay/lesbian establishments so I figured, with her WeHo experience, that she should be the one to introduce me to some of the L.A. lesbian culture. And apparently lesbian friendly connection begins with hand-holding. (Is this true???) So while we continued to talk she spent the time holding, petting and caressing my hand. I was really weirded out but attempted to not shake or produce palm-sweat during the entire encounter. At about 12:30 she took my other hand and spent time on both of my handly appendages. I was trapped, hands both being held, in her studio apartment staring at the big bed...
And nothing happened but we had an odd "do we kiss or cheek kiss or hug or handshake?" moment before she gave me a long lingering hug after she walked me to the car and I made the now standard weirded out odd comment "You were comfortable."
Date 1 with HmmHmmWow was much better than Date 1 with SoYeahUm on the whole. I found myself picturing our potential life together, we'd fit comfortable together, our views on sex are similar, I found her attractive, she was a petter, she gave good hug... and our garden would be excellent (she introduced me to her plants).
But now that I'm officially a "dater" I also find myself entering a weird sort of Seinfeld-like existence. When I describe the date to my friends I'll have to describe her as the "hand petter"... or maybe describe the slightly annoying (which when we fall in love will be the slightly precious until we hate each other and then it will become the REALLY annoying again) way she has of repeating "Hmm" three times or "Yeah" three times or ... you get the point.
So now I'm a date juggler I guess. And maybe I won't give up on dating just yet.
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