So somewhere in Date 4 or 5.... I can't remember which... HmmmHmmmWow asked me who, of her friends, I found the most attractive. I said, probably too quickly, the name of the friend I liked. (We'll call her "Glee" until a better name comes to me.) She said, "Hmmm...Hmmm...Wow. I didn't think people found Glee attractive." And I was like, "well they do."
So here's how it went down... before going out to meet HmmmHmmmWow's friends, I looked over her MySpace profile because I saw that some of the mentioned friends were on there. I read over several of the profile's and then found Glee's. Glee came off as intelligent, looked just like the type of girl I like, and had some common, namely literary, interests. I thought, "Damn. I like this girl!" So I sent her a message about something on her page. When I met her in person she answered my message but came off as a little scary... a little domineering... but damn she was just my type physically! The rest of the night was really ruined for HmmHmmWow because I now wanted Glee. (But Glee was scary... a little intimidating.)
But after I told HmmHmmWow, too quickly, that I found Glee attractive and after I told her that I didn't want to go out anymore ... I think her mind started plotting a way for Glee and I to hook up. Since she likes to act as protector and "mother" to her friends... of which I now was... instead of "potential wife."
But I digress.
What I really wanted to write about, since I promised myself I would - was a little more detail about the physical aspect of dating HmmHmmWow. Y'see... despite the fact that I didn't end up caring much for her personality (other than in a friends sort of way) I did find myself leering at her... staring at her breasts... checking out her ass... etc. Which is not really something that I'd experienced before. Maybe it was all the touching she was enforcing on me.. maybe that was her seduction method. But I really wanted to make out with her (if kissing could somehow be avoided) and possibly/probably more.
It was Date 3 when she sat on my bed, uninvited, and began to really talk about her sexual history. Of which there was a lot ... threesomes, BDSM parties, casual sex, sex with men, etc. This was not really a turn on... but then she convinced me to cuddle in the bed with her. And cuddling led her to climbing on top of me, running her fingers through my hair, holding me down while nibbling on my ears. She began talking about her strap-on and how she liked to be fucked with it. And how my submissiveness in this situation was really turning her on and making her want to fuck me with it - which is something she'd never done. (Now don't get me wrong - I wasn't exactly innocent in the situation - but I wasn't DOING anything - I was just letting her take control. I guess you can say I am or was being "the bottom.") She got herself into a strap-on fucking position and dry-humped me a little ... then lifted my legs up above her shoulders for a little more of a "this is what fucking you with a strap-on would look like" demonstration. I was turned on. She was turned on. I let her caress the skin on my stomach. I let her look to see what my bra looked like... but since it was my insecurity and innocence and inability to make a move myself that turned her on - she stopped at that. She didn't want to defile me JUST YET. The innocence aspect would work again and undoubtedly she went home and masturbated... like I did.
But the day after dates with HmmHmmWow I always thought, "I don't know if I like her. Well, I definitely don't want to settle." And we talked about that a lot. She would talk about this girl she sorta liked that started dating someone else. And she'd tell me that I was definitely in the "play" period of my life. I mean we'd talk about everyone else but the two of us.. we talked like conspiring friends. And then she'd pet me. It was all very confusing. And I just decided that friends we could maybe be... but lovers I didn't want to be.
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