VIDEO MESSAGES!!! Heather 2 has sent me a bunch now.
Her voice... kinda bugs me. I think this is because it reminds me of another girl I dated .. this could be it.
Maybe I'm just viewing this through a, "She wants to marry me and have me commit forever!!" filter and in reality she's just cool and wants to be a friend. Were it a friend sending me these videos - they would be cute and funny. Thinking of them the other way... they're scaring me a little.
Though the little boy saying hi to me and giggling was kinda cute.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
The Heathers - Heather 2
Looooong ago and yore and forescore ... I had an image of NOT ME up on MySpace. It was a picture of a girl that kinda/sorta looks like me but isn't ... and in this picture this actress was wearing a hat.
Well one day I received a message from a random gal - average in cuteness with a pretty blank profile and only one image up. An image of her playing chess. The message read something like, "Girls in hats are hot!"
I wrote back explaining that while, in fact, the girl in the hat was hot - she was not, however, me.
The girl wrote back and apologized and explained that the message was not actually from her, it was from her friend that was just goofing off on the site with her. They'd found my page and she'd remarked on how cute the picture was (it really was sort of an oddball pic) and the friend had sent the message before she could stop her.
This was my introduction to Texas Heather.
Well Texas Heather and I had very few interactions and on the rare occasion ... primarily because she didn't visit the site much. When she did we'd carry on a conversation through messages but, all in all, I did not know very much about her. Other than that she liked chess. (She only ever had that one picture of her playing chess.) When we did chat I'd take a moment to consider her. (And by "consider" I mean "ask myself if I think she likes me and if she likes me do I like her and could anything come of it" etc. etc.). The conversations were rarely very deep and not very informational. (It was months into our acquaintanceship before I even found out that she had a son.)
One night it so happened that Texas Heather and I were online at the same time and she began telling me a story about how there was this girl that she liked but this girl had a friend and one thing led to another and she'd ended up sleeping with the friend. But not just "sleeping with her"... she described it as "all night sex." ALL NIGHT SEX?? I was intrigued! (And I figured "OK I'm out of the running but whatever we'll be friends and I WANT GOSSIP!") So she told me about the experience and about how she wanted something of it but the girl talked about how she didn't want a relationship and now things were totally ruined with the other girl she liked and things were all around messed up! Sad! But juicy gossip just the same. (Not that I had anyone to tell or even knew who she was talking about.)
And we just continued to chat. And then again she went absent.. as she fairly often did.
Then she popped up again one day and it happened to be one of those days when I had posted one of those occasional "Ask me 6 questions and I promise to answer honestly" bulletins. So I received a note from her asking 6 random questions! Well fairly random. Question number 5 was "Do you think I'm hot?" And Question number 6 was "Would you find me hot if I was wearing pink leotards and a polka dot shirt because that's what I'm wearing right now!" (I answered in the affirmative but I really only had the one picture to go off of.) And after sending that she sent another message telling me that, out of fairness, I could ask her six questions too.
Thus began our "courtship".
For a few weeks it became VERY EXCITING to log in to the good ol' inbox because the questions were going back and forth and it was QUICKLY devolving into questions of a sexual nature. Sure there were some deep ones and interesting ones and lots of random ones but also ones like, "Have you ever been tied up?" "Are you a top or a bottom?" Etc. She'd also put a couple of new pictures - more recent ones and they seemed cute. (But you know... we only put up the good ones so who knows REALLY.)
The girl I thought of as this semi-innocent chess player was NOTHING like I'd imagined her. She was bold. She was organizing social forums and drag king shows that she hosted. She was interesting.
And while I found her interesting and the whole heated sexual questioning was fun... I knew she wasn't my type. She wasn't someone I'd even run into or talk to in real life. We had pretty much NOTHING in common. (Oh and I also found out that blah blah blah she was bi and had a boyfriend that she was breaking up with and then found out she was pregnant but was like "whatever i'm still breaking up with you" and that's how the son (3 years old?) came into the picture.) But BI! I love my bisexual women!
(This, mind you, was ALL HAPPENING WHILE I was getting excited about meeting L.A. Heather, and then going on the ambiguous "date" with L.A. Heather, and L.A. Heather was potentially reading the "hey sexy" comments on my page etc.)
And then suddenly it all came to a stop because her computer broke. She came back online maybe two weeks later and sent me a message with her phone number...asking me to maybe call or at least send text messages.
It was another week or so before I finally got up the nerve and sent her a note via phone. And just this week she's started sending me pictures of herself and her kid. Last night she sent pictures of "Hi Sexy" written on her legs in lipstick. Tonight - video of her house.
And here is where it maybe gets complicated (as if the whole thing isn't ALREADY COMPLICATED with her being not my type and several states away from where I live) - the pictures from her phone... they're not like the ones on the internet. She's dyed her hair, the cut is different, she looks like a different person... a person that I don't find as attractive. A person that I would probably never talk to (not that I talk to a lot of people to begin with). And the video... her voice was deeper than I expected. Hmmm... thinking back... she hosted that "drag king" show. Even though she described herself as a "bottom"... maybe she is "the guy" in a relationship. It really is hard to tell... while I describe myself as being exactly in the middle on that butch/femme scale... I would also sorta consider myself "the guy" ... and I once dated another "guy" and that whole experience was AWKWARD. So I tend to worry about that sort of thing now.
So, in summary, it's been several weeks since the questions stopped. The texts and pictures have just started. Phone calls will likely soon follow. I actually sent her a longish e-mail about my ambiguous date with L.A. Heather but... since her computer's broken I'm pretty sure she hasn't seen it. And I'm in a position of WANTING to send her messages like "hi cutie" and "hey sexy" and "love your hair!" but ooops... I don't think she's as cute. I don't think she's sexy. And I don't love her hair. But I can't say those things obviously.
So... I guess... how do I slow this boat down? I'm worried that the next thing I'll know she'll be packing up some bags and coming to visit me.
And the OTHER thing... while its fun to flirt with my married girls and bi-moms (cuz there's another one that I think is hitting on me) ... the LAST thing I actually want to do is date a girl with a kid.
I don't really deal well with kids. And I'm far far far away from being able to support or raise one.
The fact of the matter is... I just want to be the type of girl that can have some meaningless sex with some girls looking for fun. The dilemma being that I'm conflicted about that entirely ... since I'm not really comfortable with a lot of people and CERTAINLY not comfortable with my body. So I come off as super-charming (in my own opinion) and get girls to like me... but once they like me.... meaningless sex is out of the question. Bad news for me.
So what I want from Texas Heather is maybe a bunch of dirty e-mails, some dirty phone calls and maybe JUST MAYBE ... a visit for some physical stuff ... but NOT a relationship. Not a "you're so beautiful" set of e-mail exchanges. Not a weird long-distance thing... hell I know enough about internet dating to know that the chemistry online isn't always tangible in real life. A meeting is vital. I won't write her entirely off (or I should say that I won't write my attraction to her, or lack thereof, off) until we've met in person ... but in the meantime ... how do I pause this?
Well one day I received a message from a random gal - average in cuteness with a pretty blank profile and only one image up. An image of her playing chess. The message read something like, "Girls in hats are hot!"
I wrote back explaining that while, in fact, the girl in the hat was hot - she was not, however, me.
The girl wrote back and apologized and explained that the message was not actually from her, it was from her friend that was just goofing off on the site with her. They'd found my page and she'd remarked on how cute the picture was (it really was sort of an oddball pic) and the friend had sent the message before she could stop her.
This was my introduction to Texas Heather.
Well Texas Heather and I had very few interactions and on the rare occasion ... primarily because she didn't visit the site much. When she did we'd carry on a conversation through messages but, all in all, I did not know very much about her. Other than that she liked chess. (She only ever had that one picture of her playing chess.) When we did chat I'd take a moment to consider her. (And by "consider" I mean "ask myself if I think she likes me and if she likes me do I like her and could anything come of it" etc. etc.). The conversations were rarely very deep and not very informational. (It was months into our acquaintanceship before I even found out that she had a son.)
One night it so happened that Texas Heather and I were online at the same time and she began telling me a story about how there was this girl that she liked but this girl had a friend and one thing led to another and she'd ended up sleeping with the friend. But not just "sleeping with her"... she described it as "all night sex." ALL NIGHT SEX?? I was intrigued! (And I figured "OK I'm out of the running but whatever we'll be friends and I WANT GOSSIP!") So she told me about the experience and about how she wanted something of it but the girl talked about how she didn't want a relationship and now things were totally ruined with the other girl she liked and things were all around messed up! Sad! But juicy gossip just the same. (Not that I had anyone to tell or even knew who she was talking about.)
And we just continued to chat. And then again she went absent.. as she fairly often did.
Then she popped up again one day and it happened to be one of those days when I had posted one of those occasional "Ask me 6 questions and I promise to answer honestly" bulletins. So I received a note from her asking 6 random questions! Well fairly random. Question number 5 was "Do you think I'm hot?" And Question number 6 was "Would you find me hot if I was wearing pink leotards and a polka dot shirt because that's what I'm wearing right now!" (I answered in the affirmative but I really only had the one picture to go off of.) And after sending that she sent another message telling me that, out of fairness, I could ask her six questions too.
Thus began our "courtship".
For a few weeks it became VERY EXCITING to log in to the good ol' inbox because the questions were going back and forth and it was QUICKLY devolving into questions of a sexual nature. Sure there were some deep ones and interesting ones and lots of random ones but also ones like, "Have you ever been tied up?" "Are you a top or a bottom?" Etc. She'd also put a couple of new pictures - more recent ones and they seemed cute. (But you know... we only put up the good ones so who knows REALLY.)
The girl I thought of as this semi-innocent chess player was NOTHING like I'd imagined her. She was bold. She was organizing social forums and drag king shows that she hosted. She was interesting.
And while I found her interesting and the whole heated sexual questioning was fun... I knew she wasn't my type. She wasn't someone I'd even run into or talk to in real life. We had pretty much NOTHING in common. (Oh and I also found out that blah blah blah she was bi and had a boyfriend that she was breaking up with and then found out she was pregnant but was like "whatever i'm still breaking up with you" and that's how the son (3 years old?) came into the picture.) But BI! I love my bisexual women!
(This, mind you, was ALL HAPPENING WHILE I was getting excited about meeting L.A. Heather, and then going on the ambiguous "date" with L.A. Heather, and L.A. Heather was potentially reading the "hey sexy" comments on my page etc.)
And then suddenly it all came to a stop because her computer broke. She came back online maybe two weeks later and sent me a message with her phone number...asking me to maybe call or at least send text messages.
It was another week or so before I finally got up the nerve and sent her a note via phone. And just this week she's started sending me pictures of herself and her kid. Last night she sent pictures of "Hi Sexy" written on her legs in lipstick. Tonight - video of her house.
And here is where it maybe gets complicated (as if the whole thing isn't ALREADY COMPLICATED with her being not my type and several states away from where I live) - the pictures from her phone... they're not like the ones on the internet. She's dyed her hair, the cut is different, she looks like a different person... a person that I don't find as attractive. A person that I would probably never talk to (not that I talk to a lot of people to begin with). And the video... her voice was deeper than I expected. Hmmm... thinking back... she hosted that "drag king" show. Even though she described herself as a "bottom"... maybe she is "the guy" in a relationship. It really is hard to tell... while I describe myself as being exactly in the middle on that butch/femme scale... I would also sorta consider myself "the guy" ... and I once dated another "guy" and that whole experience was AWKWARD. So I tend to worry about that sort of thing now.
So, in summary, it's been several weeks since the questions stopped. The texts and pictures have just started. Phone calls will likely soon follow. I actually sent her a longish e-mail about my ambiguous date with L.A. Heather but... since her computer's broken I'm pretty sure she hasn't seen it. And I'm in a position of WANTING to send her messages like "hi cutie" and "hey sexy" and "love your hair!" but ooops... I don't think she's as cute. I don't think she's sexy. And I don't love her hair. But I can't say those things obviously.
So... I guess... how do I slow this boat down? I'm worried that the next thing I'll know she'll be packing up some bags and coming to visit me.
And the OTHER thing... while its fun to flirt with my married girls and bi-moms (cuz there's another one that I think is hitting on me) ... the LAST thing I actually want to do is date a girl with a kid.
I don't really deal well with kids. And I'm far far far away from being able to support or raise one.
The fact of the matter is... I just want to be the type of girl that can have some meaningless sex with some girls looking for fun. The dilemma being that I'm conflicted about that entirely ... since I'm not really comfortable with a lot of people and CERTAINLY not comfortable with my body. So I come off as super-charming (in my own opinion) and get girls to like me... but once they like me.... meaningless sex is out of the question. Bad news for me.
So what I want from Texas Heather is maybe a bunch of dirty e-mails, some dirty phone calls and maybe JUST MAYBE ... a visit for some physical stuff ... but NOT a relationship. Not a "you're so beautiful" set of e-mail exchanges. Not a weird long-distance thing... hell I know enough about internet dating to know that the chemistry online isn't always tangible in real life. A meeting is vital. I won't write her entirely off (or I should say that I won't write my attraction to her, or lack thereof, off) until we've met in person ... but in the meantime ... how do I pause this?
Monday, May 08, 2006
The Heathers - Heather 1
I think I'm going through an "H" period.
In addition to HotttGirl (who always somehow remains an element of this blog) there are two girls you haven't heard about, Heather and Heather. Yes, they're both named Heather! I differentiate them using their locations - so there is L.A. Heather and Texas Heather.
This entry is about L.A. Heather:
L.A. Heather is probably the only girl on MySpace that I found by myself. Usually I get strange add requests or, on the rare occasion, meet someone first but L.A. Heather was a profile I stumbled on to accidentally. We had some important common interests, she listed herself as bisexual (a key point for me) and she was just the shape and complexion that I find attractive! I added her in a heartbeat thinking, "Wow! She's perfect!" Her first set of "points" came from the question, "Why?" She wanted to know Why I wanted to add her - she wasn't just a two-bit MySpace "whore" who wanted a bunch of friends and didn't discriminate! So I told her - we have lots of things in common! She accepted my add.
Our interaction was very tentative. Since I added her - I had made the first move. This left me/leaves me on very unstable ground because I DON'T know if there is any attraction on her behalf.
Several months ago I posted a blog called a "dating resume" listing all of my dating strengths and weaknesses. She sent me a note that she liked the entry and was going to copy it and she proceeded to write one of her own. At first I wondered if it was a direct response to mine - like "well I know I like your attributes so before we go any further, here are mine ... and now the ball is in your court." I still wonder. That still could be the correct interpretation. Regardless, upon reading the dating resume I realized that this sweet-looking girl with all the common interests - was not as sweet as I thought. And there was something else too.
First let me just mention that she advertised her interest in certain fetish sexual acts ... something I am not familiar with but certainly nothing that would scare me away. But she attends meetings for them! Secondly, I learned she was rather outgoing (sexually) and that this may have been the result of mistreatment by her father. Red flags go up at this point because, well, I have a tendency to be insensitive to the plights of others. Thirdly, she listed that she was sick. Like really not well - she didn't outright say it but I interpreted it to mean that she had a terminal illness.
That really halted my forward momentum there. Not that I can't accept that there are terrible things in life, but like I said, this girl was perfect on paper... I was afraid that I could fall for her quickly and then my mind raced to the devasting end of a relationship in which she was dying and I was taking care of her. It was big. Heavy. I decided that, though perfect, I was simply not ready for that.
I continued to correspond (via occasional comment/message/blog reply/etc.) but never made a move, never indicated interest, never really did anything... though in thoughts she came up a lot. She occasionally sent invitations to me to go to things with her and friends - I always declined (schedule conflicts, just your average fear of socializing with strangers, etc.). Once she even sent a specific note inviting me to hang out with her since she was in the area (for school). I managed to be non-committal while saying "Yes." But it never happened... I never worked really hard at making it happen. I still didn't know what to do... and top that with my everyday average shyness.
Eventually I decided that I might want to go back to college to get a degree in art. (A second degree.) As it happens, and I knew this upon thinking about it, L.A. Heather attended (attends) the school I applied to. I created reasons for communication because of this coincidence. (Really, the school is about two blocks from my house and I have a friend that works in admissions who helped push paper through.) Part of me knows that I applied there strictly as an excuse to meet her. Talk about expensive dates!
So finally it was coming - our first meeting! I didn't know when it was going to be but I knew it was going to happen. By now she'd also already given me her number - in case I ever wanted to do something.
First day of school.. I'm wandering around in a panic... bulky school items... in line because of a problem with my account... don't know where my next class is... etc. etc. and then I hear in my ear, "Sara?" I turn and there she is.... inches from me... and prettier in person! I say something dumb to which she giggles politely and then I'm called on. I deal with the women at the window, turn to leave and tell L.A. Heather that it was good to run into her and that I'll see her around. I then proceeded to leave and had a mini-heart-attack before my next class started. Oh Christ! THIS is gonna be trouble!
A week or so goes by and we chat a little online and realize that she'll never be at school on the days that I'm there because of our current schedules... so if we want to do something we'll have to set it up for a weeknight during which we'll both be in town. Another few days pass and then one day that I randomly got off of work I received a text message from her asking me what my schedule was for the day. We exchange a few back and forth replies which lead to us decided to go get something to eat. I decide the texting is taking forever so I take a deep breath and call her and we set up a time.
I meet her at school where we have to wait in a computer lab for something to process and I can tell that she seems nervous. Somehow her being nervous really sort of empowered me and though I was also freaking out... I took the lead role in the situation because... somebody had to. While we waited and chatted I decided to log on to the good ol' MySpace to kill some time. There on my page was a semi-suggestive comment from Texas Heather which made me smile. Fun to read but BAD TIMING... especially if L.A. Heather was doing any MySpace stalking while SHE was waiting. But we continue...
The process ends and L.A. Heather and I grab up our stuff and we head to my car where I drive her to a restaurant for lunch. I think our conversation went rather well - we didn't seem to run out of anything to say and she, for the most part, really seemed to remain in that nervous state. I took it as a good sign.
We left, I returned her to her car, I said something stupid about "thanks for being my school friend," missed an opportunity to give her a friendly hug, she departed and that was it.
Afterwards I thought, "That was great," but then there was nothing! I consulted with my friend advisors (including Lincoln... who I've yet to explain to you), I posted a blog quiz thing that (if she read it) made it clear that I don't pick up signals well so if the "reader" is interested they'll have to let me know, made comments on her page that suggested I was following up on our food conversations and etc.
Still nothing.
Lincoln advised me that if I really wanted to see her again that I had to continue taking the lead and send her some kind of message letting her know that I had fun and that I'd like to do it again.
Nothing.
On MySpace you can check to see if someone's read something... she'd read it. Nothing.
After about a week of nothingness (during which time Lincoln ALMOST convinced me to send a "oh well then nevermind" sort of note) L.A. Heather posted a rather personal blog about how she'd spent the last week ill, suffering and the doctors had given her more bad news.
So I forgave her for her nothingness. How could I not? But as days went on and she posted more bulletins and changed her page and etc.... in any of those days when she was feeling good enough to do those things... she could have sent some small note. And she hasn't.
My fear is that my "taking the lead because you're nervous" attitude... topped by her actual nervousness... really unsettled her normally outgoing/social/leader ways. Or maybe she saw the note from Texas Heather... or maybe the little jokes and comments on my page about being a "Playa"... or maybe she just didn't find me attractive. Who knows? I don't... because there has still been NOTHING.
And THAT brings us up to current on L.A. Heather.
In addition to HotttGirl (who always somehow remains an element of this blog) there are two girls you haven't heard about, Heather and Heather. Yes, they're both named Heather! I differentiate them using their locations - so there is L.A. Heather and Texas Heather.
This entry is about L.A. Heather:
L.A. Heather is probably the only girl on MySpace that I found by myself. Usually I get strange add requests or, on the rare occasion, meet someone first but L.A. Heather was a profile I stumbled on to accidentally. We had some important common interests, she listed herself as bisexual (a key point for me) and she was just the shape and complexion that I find attractive! I added her in a heartbeat thinking, "Wow! She's perfect!" Her first set of "points" came from the question, "Why?" She wanted to know Why I wanted to add her - she wasn't just a two-bit MySpace "whore" who wanted a bunch of friends and didn't discriminate! So I told her - we have lots of things in common! She accepted my add.
Our interaction was very tentative. Since I added her - I had made the first move. This left me/leaves me on very unstable ground because I DON'T know if there is any attraction on her behalf.
Several months ago I posted a blog called a "dating resume" listing all of my dating strengths and weaknesses. She sent me a note that she liked the entry and was going to copy it and she proceeded to write one of her own. At first I wondered if it was a direct response to mine - like "well I know I like your attributes so before we go any further, here are mine ... and now the ball is in your court." I still wonder. That still could be the correct interpretation. Regardless, upon reading the dating resume I realized that this sweet-looking girl with all the common interests - was not as sweet as I thought. And there was something else too.
First let me just mention that she advertised her interest in certain fetish sexual acts ... something I am not familiar with but certainly nothing that would scare me away. But she attends meetings for them! Secondly, I learned she was rather outgoing (sexually) and that this may have been the result of mistreatment by her father. Red flags go up at this point because, well, I have a tendency to be insensitive to the plights of others. Thirdly, she listed that she was sick. Like really not well - she didn't outright say it but I interpreted it to mean that she had a terminal illness.
That really halted my forward momentum there. Not that I can't accept that there are terrible things in life, but like I said, this girl was perfect on paper... I was afraid that I could fall for her quickly and then my mind raced to the devasting end of a relationship in which she was dying and I was taking care of her. It was big. Heavy. I decided that, though perfect, I was simply not ready for that.
I continued to correspond (via occasional comment/message/blog reply/etc.) but never made a move, never indicated interest, never really did anything... though in thoughts she came up a lot. She occasionally sent invitations to me to go to things with her and friends - I always declined (schedule conflicts, just your average fear of socializing with strangers, etc.). Once she even sent a specific note inviting me to hang out with her since she was in the area (for school). I managed to be non-committal while saying "Yes." But it never happened... I never worked really hard at making it happen. I still didn't know what to do... and top that with my everyday average shyness.
Eventually I decided that I might want to go back to college to get a degree in art. (A second degree.) As it happens, and I knew this upon thinking about it, L.A. Heather attended (attends) the school I applied to. I created reasons for communication because of this coincidence. (Really, the school is about two blocks from my house and I have a friend that works in admissions who helped push paper through.) Part of me knows that I applied there strictly as an excuse to meet her. Talk about expensive dates!
So finally it was coming - our first meeting! I didn't know when it was going to be but I knew it was going to happen. By now she'd also already given me her number - in case I ever wanted to do something.
First day of school.. I'm wandering around in a panic... bulky school items... in line because of a problem with my account... don't know where my next class is... etc. etc. and then I hear in my ear, "Sara?" I turn and there she is.... inches from me... and prettier in person! I say something dumb to which she giggles politely and then I'm called on. I deal with the women at the window, turn to leave and tell L.A. Heather that it was good to run into her and that I'll see her around. I then proceeded to leave and had a mini-heart-attack before my next class started. Oh Christ! THIS is gonna be trouble!
A week or so goes by and we chat a little online and realize that she'll never be at school on the days that I'm there because of our current schedules... so if we want to do something we'll have to set it up for a weeknight during which we'll both be in town. Another few days pass and then one day that I randomly got off of work I received a text message from her asking me what my schedule was for the day. We exchange a few back and forth replies which lead to us decided to go get something to eat. I decide the texting is taking forever so I take a deep breath and call her and we set up a time.
I meet her at school where we have to wait in a computer lab for something to process and I can tell that she seems nervous. Somehow her being nervous really sort of empowered me and though I was also freaking out... I took the lead role in the situation because... somebody had to. While we waited and chatted I decided to log on to the good ol' MySpace to kill some time. There on my page was a semi-suggestive comment from Texas Heather which made me smile. Fun to read but BAD TIMING... especially if L.A. Heather was doing any MySpace stalking while SHE was waiting. But we continue...
The process ends and L.A. Heather and I grab up our stuff and we head to my car where I drive her to a restaurant for lunch. I think our conversation went rather well - we didn't seem to run out of anything to say and she, for the most part, really seemed to remain in that nervous state. I took it as a good sign.
We left, I returned her to her car, I said something stupid about "thanks for being my school friend," missed an opportunity to give her a friendly hug, she departed and that was it.
Afterwards I thought, "That was great," but then there was nothing! I consulted with my friend advisors (including Lincoln... who I've yet to explain to you), I posted a blog quiz thing that (if she read it) made it clear that I don't pick up signals well so if the "reader" is interested they'll have to let me know, made comments on her page that suggested I was following up on our food conversations and etc.
Still nothing.
Lincoln advised me that if I really wanted to see her again that I had to continue taking the lead and send her some kind of message letting her know that I had fun and that I'd like to do it again.
Nothing.
On MySpace you can check to see if someone's read something... she'd read it. Nothing.
After about a week of nothingness (during which time Lincoln ALMOST convinced me to send a "oh well then nevermind" sort of note) L.A. Heather posted a rather personal blog about how she'd spent the last week ill, suffering and the doctors had given her more bad news.
So I forgave her for her nothingness. How could I not? But as days went on and she posted more bulletins and changed her page and etc.... in any of those days when she was feeling good enough to do those things... she could have sent some small note. And she hasn't.
My fear is that my "taking the lead because you're nervous" attitude... topped by her actual nervousness... really unsettled her normally outgoing/social/leader ways. Or maybe she saw the note from Texas Heather... or maybe the little jokes and comments on my page about being a "Playa"... or maybe she just didn't find me attractive. Who knows? I don't... because there has still been NOTHING.
And THAT brings us up to current on L.A. Heather.
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