And the drama continues....

The preface to the following is that Franco went to a gay bar with her gay brother-in-law and called to tell me about how much fun she had. She told me about how the women there were completely unattractive but that she'd decided to strike up a conversation with one just to entertain herself. She began it by saying, "You have dark eyes just like this girl I dated." (I don't have dark eyes... this was strike one against her but I kept my mouth shut.) Then she proceeded to tell me that the stranger woman and her had a conversation about Franco's experience with me that went a little something like this:

Stranger Woman: Oh so you have dated a woman?
Franco: Yes.
Stranger Woman: And how was that for you?
Franco: Oh it was wonnnnnnnnddddeeeeeeerrful! But my husband didn't like it much.
Stranger Woman: Really? Why? He shouldn't be mad! It's not like you cheated.
Franco: I know! But he doesn't seem to agree.

Then Franco thought she'd probably impressed me with the retelling of this conversation and asked, "Aren't you glad I talked about you?"

Me: Honestly, no.
Franco: Why not?
Me: Because apparently you don't think you cheated on your husband with me.
Franco: Sara! Don't be like that.
Me: What? Apparently I don't count.

We hung up angry and then she stopped texting, e-mailing or calling. I didn't notice at first because I was still pissed that I was apparently a glitch in a marriage that didn't count as an affair even though she swore she loved me, temporarily moved out and called me her soulmate...

But by week three I noticed that she hadn't responded to any of my silly random e-mails and began to have a nervous breakdown... primarily because how dare SHE cut me off when she was the offensive ass in this case. One of my last desperate notes said something to the effect of, "Are you giving me the silent treatment?"

After nearly 3 weeks of silence from Franco I received the following note: "I am not giving you the silent treatment. My life is just so complicated and I am trying to get things straightened out. It's better for you to not have to deal with me. I only end up hurting you. I do miss you."

To which I replied: "I tried to convince myself that you just gave me up for Lent. It sucks to not be heard. It just drove me nuts to think that you'd cut me off without warning. Yes, it is better for you not to talk to me and you do only hurt me but ... just don't disappear like that. Especially when I know you're logging in and talking to other people. And when you have a history of just cutting communication off with people (Irritating Girl) when they get too complicated for you. It makes me feel like scum."

To which she replied (after a week): "I wasn't cutting you off. I just get so tired of it all, ya know? I feel like I can't tell you anything without you getting mad, but the problem is that I think of you as a best friend whom I can't tell anything to. What kind of a friend is that? I understand your side, I just wish you'd understand mine. Irritating Girl sent me an e-mail trying to mend fences but I didn't reply. Then she stalked me through MySpace (probably through you) and has sent me more e-mails. Lucky me. And you know why I cut off communication with Irritating Girl. It wasn't because things were getting too complicated. It was because I was so sick of her lectures. And I guess I was just sick of her. That has nothing to do with complications, it has more to do with personal taste. ... So I'm sorry I didn't reply for so long. I'm here. Just not here the way you want me to be."

And now I've just written this and my hand is still hovering over the "Send" button... : "So I wasn't really wrong though - you did cut me off because of me. I'm sorry I get mad but what do you expect? I told you I wouldn't be able to be your friend because it would hurt too much but you wanted me to try and I tried. I really did try. I do understand your side. I just also hate you for it. It's too hard to pretend that we're just friends. And of course it hurts worse that that's all you want. And EVEN worse that you have to try not to offend me with your lack of want because that just makes me the pathetic pining dog waiting for your scraps of affection to fall.

I suppose the best I can be for you at this point in my life is this e-mail semi-stranger. I don't want to lose you but I clearly can't handle being your best friend right now. Hearing you hurts. Getting texts from you kills me when they go away. The only real reason I hang on is because of some stupid shred of hope that I don't even want. Yet it lingers. I suppose it all comes back to self-inflicted pain. I like you so much because you make me feel so much. When I'm numb to you - I can be your friend. But God knows when that will be.

In the mean time... don't be a stranger. (I know I made it soooooooo appealing for you to continue talking to me, right?) (At least I can laugh at myself.)"